the new year
tags: current life art
a lot has been happening on my end, so i might just pop in with some brief updates.
since the last post, i got the part-time teaching position at the community college i applied around last late september, and i’m currently teaching two classes this semester… which had just started last week. i’m excited and nervous, considering this is my first time teaching with not as much supervision as i’m accustomed to, back when i taught classes before during my grad program. though there are some setbacks… there’s an arctic blast sweeping the entire united states, so because of that, a whole week’s worth of classes is canceled. plus i’m traversing through my planned schedule sluggishly, which peeves me a bit. we’ll see how this semester goes, but i’m not exactly confident about it.
actually, i’m not exactly confident about the whole year. i guess last year felt like another reset on my life, i think. sometimes i wonder how many resets i’ll have before i truly feel i’m approaching some sort of life-stabilizing asymptote. maybe it depends on what i mean by approaching. but i’ll try to stand back and observe things as they come and go, rather than partake. that’s my usual strategy when it comes to dealing with life. observe and philosophize. observe and philosophize. if i find myself in hot water, i’ll try to deal with the scalding as gently as possible.
i’m slowly regaining some satisfaction with my art. but recently, seeing fanart of my favorite characters causes me some pang of guilt, since i’m slowly deviating away from being a fan artist for the time being. it’s unfortunate, though, that going after what i truly like is a betrayal to people who have followed me for the things that are less self-indulgent. and, i’m not going to lie: i like their attention, and i also do want to get back to posting non-indulgent fanart (since i’m starting to look at other characters, looking at you punk and ballade). but… maybe for now, that’s alright. i’ll still remain self-indulgent and draw for my own satisfaction, and even when there’s only so much i can wish for, maybe it’s for the best that things are like this.